My experiment in flourishing for the next 30 years.
If you are like me (and maybe you aren’t), you’re wondering how your next 30 years or so might play out.
Will you be able to travel adventurously? Will your social life be rich and meaningful? Will you still occasionally get a flirty look from that much-too-young-for-you barista?
In short, as you age, will you thrive?
More than 2,000 years ago, Aristotle argued that the ultimate human goal was eudaimonia—usually translated as flourishing or living well.
I love that idea.
Because what I'm interested in isn't simply longevity. I don't want to optimize every variable in pursuit of the greatest possible number of birthdays.
I want to live well for as long as possible.
My goal isn't maximum lifespan. It's something closer to maximum flourishing across a long lifespan.
I’m now 58. My goal, when I am well into my 80s, is to still be mentally, physically, and socially active. As I put it to my doctor, I want to be climbing mountains, writing novels, and having marathon sex.
So, where am I starting from? I’ve always tried to take pretty good care of myself.
Well, almost always.
As a kid, I was somewhat chubby and not especially confident. At university, a friend got me exercising and eating differently, and I discovered that deliberate choices could dramatically change how I felt.
I had never read Aristotle at that point, but I had stumbled onto an idea that has stayed with me ever since: the life we end up with is, at least partly, something we can deliberately build.
I’ve been lucky enough to have a wife who shares these ideals.
I don't have this figured out. But I’ve spent much of my adult life thinking deliberately about how I want to live, and increasingly I'm thinking about what choices today will make the life I want at 80 possible.
For years, my wife and I have made annual resolutions - not just about exercise or eating better, but about our marriage, our sex life, our friendships, our family, our hobbies, our adventures, and how we contribute to our community.
Thriving is my attempt to take that thinking further. I want to understand what the research tells us, learn from people who seem to be flourishing in their later years, experiment in my own life, and share what I discover.
I'll undoubtedly get some things wrong. That's part of the point.
For now, I’m organizing my ideas around six main dimensions:
- Move — fitness, strength, cardiovascular health, mobility.
- Nourish — food, sleep, alcohol, habits and health.
- Connect — marriage, sex, friendship, family, community.
- Think — learning, creativity, curiosity, intellectual health.
- Explore — adventure, travel, hobbies, novelty, play.
- Contribute — volunteering, mentoring, generosity, purpose.
Thirty years from now, I want to be climbing mountains, writing novels, and having amazing sex.
I don't know if I'll manage all three.
But I'm going to do everything I reasonably can to give that 88-year-old a fighting chance.
Let's thrive.
